Sexless and the City – Episode Insider
Why do so many people stay in long term relationships where the sex has fizzled to nonexistence?
That was the question Marisa and I had after dinner with some friends on Halloween night. I mean, why stay in a sexless relationship? The topic was raised over dinner after one of our friends mentioned a couple he knew that have been together for years but also have not had sex with each other in years. Naturally our train of thought was solely focused on those unhappy couples who for some reason stay together.
You know who those couples are in your life.
Before sitting down to record “Sexless and the City” I wanted to get other people’s perspectives. So I posted that question on Facebook. Within minutes the feedback started coming in – comment after comment. The feedback ranged from people not trying anymore, sex with the same person gets boring after years, and all the way to the fact that there’s more to love than sex. Seeing this feedback changed the approach I wanted to take with the episode.
What was even more interesting was that primarily I had gay men commenting on my post; whereas, when Marisa posed the same question to her collection of straight friends, the feedback was almost nonexistent.
So why does it seem gay men are more willing and open to talk about it than straight people? Are you comfortable talking about sex with your partner?
Trust me that question comes with no judgement behind it from me. I myself find myself willing and open to talk about sex with my friends; however, with those I have dated I struggle to be honest with what I like. Mostly because I am afraid I will be judged. This came up too in the Facebook discussion. Nobody disagreed that communication about sex with your partner is important. On the other hand, some found from personal experience that bringing up the topic makes the partner fear the one raising the topic will go cheat if not satisfied. If that is where your train of thought would go if your partner brought up spicing things up, then to me you are asking for your partner to not be honest with you. Nobody wants to open up to simply be judged or scolded.
Be open, honest, and not afraid to communicate about your sexual desires, needs, and curiosities.
We hope you enjoyed the episode and this inside look. A little bit of on set information, I was totally hung over so it took two takes and this was the episode where Marisa and I decided we like the yellow wall and do not want to change it up. What do you think about the yellow wall?
If you have not seen the episode simply click the picture at the top. If you want to see the full discussion on my Facebook page click here. I posted the question on November 5, 2014 (I know, I wish Facebook made it easier to find people’s posts…make sure to select all stories not highlights).
I have a feeling this will not be the last time we talk about this topic.
Who talks about it? We Talk About It Now!